


The Monster

by rachaellikestoread



Category: Suikoden
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Child Abandonment, Halloween, INDEFINITE HIATUS, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Rating will change, WIP
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-08-27 01:07:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8382028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rachaellikestoread/pseuds/rachaellikestoread
Summary: Luc intended to create a cute, playful monster for Sarah. Instead, he created someone a bit more...murderous.





	1. Chapter 1

Luc had never planned to bring such a monster into existence. When he had told Sarah about monsters, she had immediately begged him to show her with his magic.

“Sarah, monster creation is not a game,” he attempted to explain to her. “Why do you want one so badly?”

She looked up at him sadly. “I want a friend.”

 _Ouch_. Luc should have expected her to use the f-word. “Sarah, it’s only been a month. I’m sure that once everyone sees how sweet you are, you’ll make some friends. You’re not a grump like me.”

“No....” Sarah put her head in his lap. “But they won’t talk to me. They think I’m… _creepy_.”

Damn. He had called Leknaat’s “destiny talk” _creepy_ the other day. He should have known better than to say that word in front of her. He sighed and began to stroke her hair. “Life’s not easy for people like us, Sarah. Everyone’s so stuck in their ways. People are afraid of what they don’t understand.” It was the same speech Leknaat had given him countless times. He knew how pointless it was—Sarah wouldn’t feel better until she learned to accept her powers. “I know it seems like everything’s hopeless now, but it’ll get better. And until it does….” He scowled, knowing he was going to regret his next words. “You’ll have a monster to cheer you up.”

She looked up at him, her eyes shining. “Really?”

“Yes. Really.” He forced himself to smile at her, ignoring the warning bells in the back of his mind. “Anything to make you happy.” _Let’s just hope it doesn’t come at the cost of anyone else’s happiness_ , he thought.

Sarah jumped up and clasped her hands, an eager expression in her eyes. “Can I watch you make him?”

“Absolutely not,” he said sternly. “Leknaat wouldn’t even let me set foot in the lab until I was 12, and that was just to clean. She’d kill me if I allowed you to watch. And she might kill me as it is.”

Her face fell. “Oh, no! Luc! Why is she going to kill you? Will making a monster get her that angry?”

“Oh, no….” Luc had forgotten how literally little kids took things sometimes. He’d been the same way at her age. “I don’t mean she’ll actually kill me, Sarah. It just means she’ll get really mad at me. Like she did when I used my magic to blow off the assistant principal’s hairpiece and got suspended.”

She giggled. “You did that?”

“Yes, last year. It was a…senior prank.” Actually, it had been because he’d copped an attitude with Leknaat, but she didn’t have to know about that incident. “Anyway, the point is that Leknaat isn’t going to be too happy if I let you in the lab, especially without her there. So be a good girl and go watch ‘Princess Flare’s Sing-Along’ or whatever.”

“‘Play-Along,’” she corrected him. “Okay. But you’ll let me know as soon as he’s finished?”

“Sure,” he promised. “But it’s going to take a while. If I’m not back up by the time Leknaat’s back, call 911.”

***

Luc turned on the laboratory lights and went straight to his work space. Under Leknaat’s influence, he always kept it clean and dry, if not pristine like hers. His various potions and dry ingredients were placed on the shelves in no particular order, except for a few dangerous concoctions, which he kept in special reinforced containers. Several light bulbs dotted the ceiling over his table to reduce eyestrain. 

He turned on the MP3 player he kept on his desk. Leknaat wasn’t fond of the trance music he liked to play, so he made sure to play it whenever she wasn’t around. It relaxed him and helped to put him in the right “head space” to do his research.

Reaching under his experiment table, he pulled out the largest of his pots—nobody used “cauldrons” anymore, except for hipsters—and placed it in the center. Monster creation demanded a large number of ingredients and smaller potions, and even bigger pots came close to reaching full capacity.

What Sarah didn’t understand was that the sort of monster that was generated depended a lot on what its creator was feeling. For example, someone who was hungry might create a monster who wanted to eat literally everything. If the creator was in pain, the monster would be in pain, too. And sometimes, the monsters took on characteristics the creator wasn’t even sure he had….

 _Stop worrying_ , he reminded himself as he put the potion together. _Think of your love for Sarah. Think about how fun it will be to have a playful, friendly monster roaming around the house. Think of it as one of your pranks. Leknaat might be mad, but in the end, everyone will be laughing. Think about how good that will be_.

Luc slowly stirred his mix, just enough to keep it from burning. He placed it on the stove that he and Leknaat shared, turned up the heat, and added a few more drops of dragon egg yolk. As he worked, he tried to visualize the sort of monster that would be suitable for a five-year-old girl. Fuzzy, probably. A bright, cheerful color, like orange or yellow. Not scary, just funny. What did kindergartners think was funny? Googly eyes, maybe two different colors. A long, pink tongue. 

Why did he even have to do this? Why did kids have to be so _difficult_ , anyway? They were just as bad as their parents, if not worse. Luc shuddered as he remembered how the other children had taunted him, calling him a “freak” and a “sissy.” The teachers had told him to ignore them, saying it would stop. It didn’t. Even when Leknaat called their parents, the bullying didn’t stop. And why should it? They never _hit_ him or anything. It had been clear to Luc that they were too scared to try anything physical.

It sickened him. He had known that they had picked up the behavior from their parents. Adults always said things when kids weren’t listening. He remembered one boy loudly proclaiming that his mom didn’t want him to be in the same class as “that demon child,” and a girl had said that her mother called Leknaat a witch.

When Luc was older, he began to notice things. Leknaat occasionally took the garbage out when it was barely full, or went into another room to “make some repairs,” even though there was nothing broken or missing that Luc had seen. One time, he got off the bus to find her repainting the door. It had needed a touch-up, she had said. The paint was peeling.

Really, Luc had known all along that she wasn’t telling him the truth, but things came to a head when the glass of the window in his bedrom was shattered in the middle of the night. Someone had thrown a rock with a note attached that said “ _GET OUT_.” Once Leknaat had calmed him down, she had finally admitted that these incidents were not uncommon, and that she had been wrong to hide them from him. They had cried together….

Why did people like that have to exist? Why couldn’t they all just…

 _Disappear_.

Smoke spilled from the pot, condensing into liquid before flowing over the edges of the table. Several crackling noises filled the air as the concoction began to harden into a pair of feet, then legs, building the creature from the bottom up. Luc’s heart sank and he took several steps back. Already, the monster was taller and slimmer than he had planned. And more…human.

Damn it, what had he done? What had he made?

The formation was complete, but instead of a cute, playful little creature, the being that stood before him looked exactly like a human. He was tall and lean, not buff by any means, but in far better shape than Luc. He had long, blond, silky hair, and, strangely, one of his eyes was gold, and the other was silver. Most disturbingly, he wore a smirk that reminded Luc of his bullies, and he was stark naked.

“Who is it you need me to kill?” he asked.

Luc’s jaw dropped. This was definitely not what he had wanted. “No one! Why would you ever think—”

The monster—if he could be called that—stepped forward and touched Luc’s chest.

“Wh…What are you doing?” Luc was inexperienced, but he was no fool. This damn creature was trying to _seduce_ him. His gaze flicked down to his—its—penis, then back to his—its—face. Well, he _had_ been imagining a “male,” but he most certainly had not pictured anything between "his" legs. Then again, this was a humanoid monster….

“The bloodlust in the depths of your heart called to me,” the creature murmured. “Although that’s not the only ‘lust’ lurking in there, is it? And thus, I came into existence.” His fingers slid down Luc’s chest and trailed over his stomach….

Luc grabbed the monster’s wrist. “Stop that. I don’t want you to kill anybody, and I’m not so desperate that I’d create a new being just to satisfy my…my needs.” Damn it, he hadn’t asked for this. “Look, I don’t know why you look the way you do, but you were supposed to be something more friendly-looking.”

“Ah. You find this form intimidating.” The monster’s shape changed. He was shorter now, with shoulder-length brown hair, green eyes, and a gentle, boyish face. “Is this more to your liking?”

Luc shuddered. “Definitely not. Now you look like you could be my twin brother, which I’m pretty sure I don’t have. It makes me very uncomfortable. What’s your name, by the way?”

He shrugged and resumed his previous form. “That’s up to you, isn’t it?”

“Well….” Luc thought back to the tabletop roleplaying games he’d been obsessed with in high school. Wasn’t there a blond god of chaos who looked sort of like this guy? What was his name again? “How about Yuber?”

“Yuber?” The man—monster—whatever he was nodded. “I do like that name. Easy to say, easy to spell. I’ll take it. By the way….” This time, Yuber touched his own chest. “Our hearts are connected, Luc. Because you’re the creator and I’m the creation, I can’t exactly hear your thoughts, but I’m familiar with some of your memories. For example, I know that were quite infatuated with that fictional entity named ‘Yuber’ your freshman year. Don’t you remember how many of your sexual fantasies he played a role in?”

“Oh, my God!” Luc covered his face. This definitely wasn’t what he had wanted. All he had meant was to create a companion for Sarah, not to generate some weird sex demon! “Look, unless I ask you to, don’t bring any of that up, all right? To me or to anyone. Especially Sarah. She’s only five. And _please_ put some clothes on.”

“I don’t have any clothes with me,” Yuber said. “I mean, you just made me.”

Luc looked at his watch. It was almost five o’clock; Sarah’s DVD would be over in a few minutes. She’d expect to see her “monster” then. “Okay, look. Let me show you what sort of form I need you to take.”

He walked to his desk and took out a piece of paper and a pencil. “If you can see my memories, why can’t you see a memory of what I wanted you to look like?”

“But this _is_ what you wanted me to look like,” Yuber explained. “Subconsciously, you wished for a companion who would please you sexually and also get revenge on your enemies for their mistreatment of you.”

Exasperated, Luc began to draw. “Yeah, well, _consciously_ , I wanted you to look like…this.” He had never been much of an artist, but then again, he wouldn’t have to be Ivanov to get his point across. He quickly drew a fuzzy monster, roughly rectangular in shape, with two round, protruding eyes.

“Oh.” Yuber sounded disappointed. “I suppose I can manage something like that. Color preference?”

“Something warm,” Luc said. “How about orange? And not too tall. Maybe two and a half feet.”

Yuber sighed. “All right.”

By the time Luc turned around, Yuber had already changed form. He looked exactly like Luc’s drawing, to the point that his left eye was slightly smaller than the right. At least he hadn’t turned into the drawing itself.

“Good.” Luc nodded in approval, then headed for the stairs. “All right, let’s get this over with. Remember, be friendly. Sarah’s only five years old.”

“And I’m not even a day old,” Yuber reminded him.

***

Well, she was certainly cute, Yuber thought as he looked up at the child in front of him. Obnoxiously cute. At least this form made it easy for him to hide his disgust.

“Hi,” she said quietly. Her hands were covering most of her face, but she peeked at him with one eye. “I’m Sarah.”

“Sarah, he won’t hurt you,” Luc assured her.

“I know, but….” She flinched as Yuber approached her. “I’m sorry. I’ve never met a monster before.”

Luc looked expectantly at Yuber.

He coughed. “Well…It’s okay. I’ve never met a girl before.”

She smiled nervously, then looked up at Luc. “What does he do?”

“He can change what he looks like,” Luc said. “Go on, Yuber. Show her. Turn into an animal or something.”

Yuber clapped his hands together and changed into an alligator.

Sarah screamed. “Too scary! Too scary! Change back!” 

He changed back. Okay, this wasn’t going too well. “I can do other things, too.” Yuber removed his eyeballs and tossed one to her. “Here, catch.”

Sarah didn’t move. She stared at the eye, horrified, as it bounced off her shoe.

Yuber groaned. “Look, Luc, this really isn’t my thing. And I don’t like being this tiny. It makes me feel…weak.” The word felt bitter as he said it. “I’m much better at killing people.”

Sarah ran and hid behind Luc’s legs. “Luc, he’s scaring me.”

“Don’t worry, Sarah. He’s not going to kill anyone.” Luc glared at Yuber. “Look, I created you. I’m your master, in a manner of speaking. You’re supposed to follow orders, and I told you to be friendly.”

“I’m trying, ‘Master,’” Yuber mocked him. “But ‘friendly’ isn’t something that comes naturally to me. You summoned me from the depths of your bitter, lonely soul. Why should I know how to be friendly when you don’t know yourself?”

Luc’s face fell. “That’s…I don’t…” He looked quickly at Sarah, then back to Yuber. “…All right, you’ve got a point. I guess we both have some learning to do.” He knelt down in front of Sarah and took her hands in his. “I’m sorry, Sarah. Yuber doesn’t know anything that I don’t know, and I don’t know how to make friends for myself, let alone for you. This might be something we all have to work on together.”

“Hmmm….” Yuber considered his options. “First, I need some clothes. Do you think Leknaat’s would fit me?”

Sarah smiled a little. “But Leknaat’s a girl. You’re a boy. You can’t wear her clothes.”

“Well, you _can_ ,” Luc said. “But you’re going to get a lot of strange looks. And you’re way taller than her, anyway. She’s closer to my size than she is to yours.” He cringed. “I guess I’m going to have to take you shopping.”

***

Luc sat outside the fitting room with his head in his hands. He had a little money left from his summer job, but he still hated the fact of having to spend it on a set of clothes for this creature he’d brought into the world. Why hadn’t he realized that Yuber wasn’t going to just disappear once Sarah made some human friends? How had he let her talk him into this?

Leknaat was probably home by now. God only knew what Sarah would tell her, or not tell her. Then again, she’d probably apologize and say it was her fault. Leknaat would never blame her, of course, but Luc should have known better than to create a monster without her permission or guidance.

The door opened. “So how do I look?”

Yuber was back in his humanoid form. He had chosen a pair of black slacks and a black button-up (button-down?) shirt, along with a couple of hair ties, which he had used to braid his hair. He looked a lot sharper than Luc.

“Good,” Luc admitted. “Like a mod or something.” He had no idea what a “mod” even was. Probably short for “model.” 

“I think so, too.” Yuber looked at his reflection with a smug expression. “I think maybe a fedora—”

“No,” Luc interrupted, and—much to his surprise—laughed. “No fedoras, ever. You’ll make everyone hate you.” He pulled up the internet on his phone. “I’ve been researching how to make friends,” he explained. “But first, go back in the room and take the clothes off again. I need to pay for them before you can wear them.”

Yuber gave him a crooked, seductive smile. “But you’re going to have to come into the changing room with me if you want to get them without anyone seeing me.”

Luc’s heart jumped, but he quickly composed himself. “No, I don’t. Just toss the clothes over the door, and I’ll go pay for them and bring them back to you. Also, not everyone’s going to be as tolerant of your innuendos as I am. You’d better reign in the flirting when you’re talking to other people.”

“I can’t help it,” Yuber said as he entered one of the booths. “Focusing on my libido is the only way I can get my mind off wanting to kill.”

Luc shook his head. “How did I create something so dangerous? There’s really only a few people I hate enough to _maybe_ wish were dead, but it’s not what I live for. Leknaat taught me that dwelling on things like that will only hurt me in the long run.”

Yuber threw his shirt over the door. “It’s not so uncommon, really. Even humans, at their core, are cruel beings. But unlike us monsters—well, those of us who were summoned by anger—most of you are in denial about it.” His socks and shoes were next. “Isn’t it normal to want those who hurt you to suffer in the same way?”

“I guess.” Luc began to place Yuber’s selections in the basket. “But there’s more to us than that. We also want to make those we love happy. We want to avoid doing anything that would hurt them.”

Finally, Yuber passed his pants and underwear under the door. “Love, huh?”

“Can you feel love, Yuber?”

“Yeah, I’m capable of feeling any emotion that you can. But you don’t love very many people, do you?”

Luc sighed as he finished filling the basket. “Well…I haven’t been loved by very many people. But it’s enough for me. I’ve given up on making any friends or….” His voice trailed off. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter. If you don’t feel like you can entertain a five-year-old, don’t worry about it. Leknaat actually has experience in monster creation, and she won’t let her emotions get out of hand like I did. I should have consulted her before doing any of this.”

Yuber didn’t answer for a few moments. “…You know,” he finally said, “I think what you really wanted was to have someone who couldn’t exist without you. It might have been for Sarah that you made me, but you chose to do it without any help because you wanted to be the only reason I existed.”

Luc’s shoulders drooped. “You make me sound like a real asshole.”

“That wasn’t my intention. I didn’t mean that you wanted a personal slave who served and loved only you. I mean that you wanted to be the reason that someone came into being. You wanted to create someone who could say, ‘If you didn’t exist, then neither would I.’ And it worked. You are literally the reason I came into being. I may not be exactly what you wanted, but I am someone who owes his entire existence to you.” He paused, probably so his next words would have more weight. “Thank you.”

Oh, God, how embarrassing. Luc struggled for a moment, then quickly said, “You’re welcome,” and headed for the checkout.

***

Now that Yuber was dressed, he could finally stay in his preferred form without offending anyone. Luc insisted on buying him another set of cheaper clothing, but Yuber would rather do the laundry every day than wear a tank top and sweatpants. Obviously, Luc only cared about getting what was cheap.

“You’re going to need to get a job,” Luc told him. “You can’t just freeload off Leknaat and me forever. We should take a walk and see if there are any shops hiring.”

“Good idea,” Yuber agreed. “I definitely want some more sharp-looking clothes. It’ll need to be an engaging job, though—enough to take my mind off killing.”

“Well, retail isn’t exactly engaging,” Luc said. “And if we’re looking here, that’s how you’ll have to start out. You don’t have a formal education or job experience, so it’s either this or flipping burgers.”

Yuber looked at the various stores surrounding them. Clothing, shoes, comic books…None of them really appealed to him. Then, a single door covered with black plastic caught his eye. “Luc, what’s that?”

Luc followed Yuber’s gaze to the door, then scowled. “Oh, that’s just Your Rosebud. It’s one of those adult stores.”

“Adult stores?”

“You know, the….” Luc made a couple of crude gestures. “They sell….” He lowered his voice. “…sex stuff.”

Yuber’s face brightened in an instant. “They have a ‘Help Wanted’ sign! I’ll take it!”

“You can’t just walk in and say, ‘I’m going to work here now.’ You have to fill out an application, and you’ll need to take it home. You can’t fill one out there. There are certain things we have to do first.”

“Oh.” Yuber grinned. “Do you have to have sex to work at an adult store?”

“What? No!” Luc’s face was bright red. “I mean….” He moved closer to Yuber and whispered, “You’re not a legal citizen here, Yuber; it’s not like you have a birth certificate. You don’t even have an ID. We’re going to have to get someone to forge one.”

“I like that.” It wasn’t killing, but at least it was illegal. A pleasurable shiver made its way through Yuber’s body. “Anyway, why not check the place out? See what kind of working environment it is.” He grabbed Luc’s hand. “It’ll be fun.”

“We’re not buying anything,” Luc said, but he looked slightly pleased to be holding Yuber’s hand. At least, that was what Yuber hoped.

“I know that.” But Yuber was convinced he could get Luc to buy something. Luc had to be curious, after all.

Inside, the shop was surprisingly well-lit, if crowded. It wasn’t a large enough place for aisles, but every sort of gadget had its place: colorful, fake penises and bottles of liquid in the front, a large selection of DVDs in the back, and a bargain bin in the center. The walls were decorated with lace, red roses, and banners that proclaimed things like “C’est élégance” and “La vie en rose.” “50% off marked lingerie! Très sexy!” announced a sign taped to the front desk. Above the “e” in _Tres_ , an accute accent had been scribbled out and replaced with a grave accent.

“Are you kidding me?” Luc grumbled.

Yuber put on his most charming smile and walked over to the front desk, where a muscular woman with auburn, shoulder-length hair and a name tag that said “Hanna” was reading a book whose cover showed a man wrestling with a shark. “So you’re hiring?”

The woman set her book down. “Yeah, but it’s not me you’ve got to impress. Let me go get my manager.” She stood up and headed for the back of the store.

Yuber glanced over at Luc, who looked very uncomfortable to be standing in such close proximity to things that looked like penises. “What are those, anyway?” he asked.

“Oh, come on.” Luc shifted from one foot to the other as he looked away from both Yuber and the display. “Don’t mess with me. You know what they are.”

“No, I don’t.” Yuber picked up a neon green one. It surprised him how floppy it was. “I don’t have access to all your knowledge and memories, remember? I didn’t even get to choose which ones, and it can’t be helped now.”

Luc stared at him, wide-eyed. “You mean to tell me that all this time, I’ve been afraid you’d suddenly know about things from my life that you hadn’t before, and that wasn’t even a possibility?”

“Nope.” Yuber put the green penis back on the shelf and picked up another one—a larger product that was dark brown and more realistic. “We had a connection at the beginning, and I was shown some things, like your love of tomatoes, your claustrophobia, and that memory you had of Leknaat walking in on you while you were mas—”

“Sh-sh-sh-sh-sh! Okay, I get it!” Luc frantically looked around the shop, then shook his head, sighing with relief. “Well, that takes a load off my mind. But just so you know, I don’t want anything about my sexual life revealed in public.”

“Even in a place like this? I mean, everyone comes here to get off, right?”

“They don’t get off _here_!” hissed Luc. “They buy stuff that helps them get off at home, and most people aren’t going to want to have a casual chat while they’re in a place like this! Most of us like to use discretion when talking about our private lives.” He stepped closer to Yuber and resumed speaking in his normal voice. “Those are dildos. You put them in…yourself.”

“Oh.” He set the second dildo back on the shelf. “So it’s for people who want to have sex but can’t find someone to do it with?”

“Yes. Well, no, not necessarily. Sometimes people use it on each other.”

Yuber frowned. This didn’t make sense. “Then why not just use a real penis?”

“Because people have standards, Yuber. Most people don’t just go out, find someone with a penis, and bring them home and have sex with them. And even if you want someone….” Luc trailed off and his expression saddened. “…That someone doesn’t always want you.”

“So you use a…dillllll-do instead.” Yuber put a hand on Luc’s shoulder. “Hey, don’t be sad. You’re still young.”

Luc laughed bitterly. “You’re younger than I am.” But he seemed to cheer up a little after that.

***

The owner of Your Rosebud was quite breathtaking, but not because of her beauty. She looked like she had stepped out of the Rococo period, with a ridiculously frilly, candy cane red dress with varying patterns; Luc wondered if it had been a quilt at one point. 

Her hair was even more ridiculous. It was bluish-gray and consisted of stacks of ringlets, like one of those powdered wigs people wore in the 18th century, and decorated with what appeared to be a maid’s cap with feathers and synthetic roses glued on.

She took one look at Yuber, then turned to Hanna, who had followed her back to the front desk. “See, _this_ is what I’m talking about. Hanna, you _must_ understand that you are _representing_ Your Rosebud. You must _dress_ to impress.” She walked up to Yuber—Good God, was she wearing one of those butt cushions?—and gave an exaggerated curtsy. “ _Bonjour, m’sieur. Comment allez-vous_?”

Yuber bowed back. “ _Oui, ça va, mademoiselle_.”

“Oh! Oh, no!” The woman let out a shrill laugh and slapped Hanna on the back. “Did you hear that? He called me ‘mademoiselle’! Oh, you’re too much, _m’sieur_.”

Hanna looked less than thrilled. “That really hurt, Josephine.”

“I only know a little bit of French,” Yuber said, gesturing to Luc. “My master tought me.”

“‘Master’?” Josephine repeated. “Oh, dear.”

“TMI,” Hanna said, a digusted look on her face.

Luc groaned. There was no way he could hide his embarrassment, so he didn’t even try. “He’s just kidding.”

“Anyway, don’t worry about it,” Josephine continued. “Hanna doesn’t know _any_ French, and trust me, I tried to teach her. What’s important is that you value beauty, elegance, and grace. Or, in Hanna’s case, that you be the daughter of an _exceedingly_ wealthy patron of mine.” She tittered and stood on tiptoe to tousle Hanna’s hair. “I own this store, but I also create custom pleasure objects and roleplay outfits. Here’s my card.” She handed a business card to Yuber, who made a big show of looking it over, as though he expected to be quizzed on it later. 

“We just came to grab an application,” Luc interrupted. “We’re not really here to buy anything.”

“Some other time, perhaps,” said Yuber.

“Maybe, maybe not.” Luc certainly didn’t want to encourage Yuber to spend money they didn’t have. “Yuber and I are both between jobs. We can’t really afford luxuries like these.”

“We have a sale on glass dildos right now.” Josephine turned to Hanna. “Bring one over, dear. How about the P-Spot Pointer?”

Hanna sighed and looked bleakly at Luc. “I wanted to be a P.E. teacher, you know.” She turned around and headed for one of the aisles.

Luc finally went over to the front desk, found an application, and brought it over to Yuber himself. “This is all we need for now. Let’s go.”

Yuber shrugged and gave Josephine a “What can I do?” look. “I’m so sorry, _madame_. But the ‘Master’ has spoken.” 

He turned to go, only for Josephine to grab his wrist and pull him close. Her brilliant expression transformed into a dead-eyed look of despair. “Please.” Her voice had transformed, as well—it was low, hoarse, and desperate. “Please work here. Hanna doesn’t appreciate what I do. She doesn’t understand. The other day, she asked me why I didn’t carry any jelly dildos. _Jelly_. God, can you imagine? I may as well sue _myself_.”

“How awful,” Yuber said, his voice somber. “I would have felt perfectly _murderous_ after such an uneducated comment. Everyone knows that glass is the superior material for dildos.”

 _Bullshit_ , Luc thought. But it seemed to be working.

“I don’t care who you are or where you come from,” Josephine continued. “If you’re an undocumented immigrant, I’ll pay you under the table. You’ll get the same pay and benefits as Hanna, and that’s just as a starting wage. There would be a raise in your very near future.”

Yuber’s face brightened. “Really? Well, that’s fortunate, because ‘undocumented immigrant’ is probably the closest to what I actually am.”

“Oh, yes!” Luc said, quickly taking Yuber’s arm. “He’s, uh, Kooluk. He was facing a lot of discrimination in the Island Nations, so he came here for a better life.”

“I see. ‘Kooluk,’ is it?” She winked at them. “Well, I won’t say another word. You can come in next week. Be here on Monday morning at nine, all right?” She patted Yuber on the shoulder. “We’ll make a diva out of you yet!”


	2. Chapter 2

“What’s a diva?” Yuber asked on their way home.

“Huh? Oh, I don’t know. Some kind of female entertainer.” As Luc turned onto his street, he noticed Leknaat’s car in the driveway. “Oh, great. Look, you know that charm act you pulled on Josephine? It’s not going to work with Leknaat. She can see through all kinds of bullshit, and believe me, I’ve tried fooling her. Just be honest with her, and you’ll be fine. But don’t do or say anything scary in front of Sarah, all right?”

“Sure.” Yuber tapped impatiently on his thigh. “Hey, when can I get a phone?”

“When you earn enough money to buy one,” Luc snapped. “I’m not your sugar daddy.” He pulled into the driveway, parked, and stepped out of the car. “Come on, let’s get this over with.”

Yuber followed him through the front door. A beautiful, middle-aged woman with long, black hair was seated in an armchair near the fireplace. “So you’ve returned,” she said, eying Luc with a knowing look.

Luc slouched. “Yeah.”

“So…Why don’t you introduce your friend?”

Yuber nodded at her in greeting. “My name is Yuber. I’m about six hours old.” He couldn’t help it; he leered at the woman and added, “But don’t be fooled. I’m all man.”

Instead of acknowledging him, she continued to stare at Luc. “What made you decide to make a person?”

“I didn’t decide,” Luc said through gritted teeth. “It was an accident.”

“I told you you weren’t ready for creation.” She gestured to the couch across the room. “Why don’t you two have a seat?”

Yuber sat first, then looked at Luc, who seemed to make a point of sitting as loudly as possible. He continued to slouch, as if trying to make it easier for the couch to swallow him.

“I understand you made him for Sarah.” For the first time, Leknaat turned her gaze on Yuber. “And how do you feel about this?”

“Hmmm….” Yuber finally shrugged. “I’m glad I exist. It’s been fun so far. It’s too bad for Luc and Sarah that I can’t be or do what they wanted, but it doesn’t really bother me. And I don’t care how or why I was created. It sucks that I can’t kill anyone without a good reason, but I think I can control the urge.”

Luc snorted, but Leknaat ignored him. “It’s good that you understand that, Yuber,” she said softly. “It would cause Luc and me a great deal of trouble if you didn’t. Now, Luc, sit up straight. There are consequences for what you have done, and you need to face them like an adult.”

“I know, I know.” Luc corrected his posture. “Do you want me to move out? Do you want him to move out?”

“Luc, you have brought a living being with a mind and a soul of his own into this world. He is no more required to follow your commands than you are to follow his. You understand this, don’t you?”

“I wasn’t going to order him to do anything,” Luc said. “He just keeps insisting on calling me ‘Master’ and embarrassing me in front of normal people.”

“Good. Yuber, you are welcome to stay here for now. You will need to sleep on the couch until we can get you another bed.”

“I don’t mind sharing a bed with Luc,” Yuber said.

“It’s not big enough for both of us,” Luc told him, although Yuber knew that wasn’t true. “And I like to have a lot of space when I sleep. And you’re _not_ sleeping with me.”

“I’ll take the couch, then.” The rejection hurt, which surprised Yuber; he hadn’t realized he’d actually _wanted_ Luc to accept the offer.

***

That night, Yuber lay on the couch in his new underwear, having neglected to buy pajamas. A threadbare blanket kept him from being cold, and Leknaat had given him a spare pillow. He’d gone his entire life so far without sleeping, so he should be sleepy by now, but he couldn’t stop thinking.

He knew Luc wanted to lose his virginity; he had sensed that desire from the moment he’d come into existence. He knew Luc longed for the presence of a warm male body embracing his own—someone who resembled Yuber the Chaos God. So why was he so hesitant to sleep with Yuber?

Of course, Luc didn’t seem to want him to kill anybody, either. That didn’t make any sense to Yuber. Wasn’t it natural to want to put an end to one’s enemies? And Luc _did_ have enemies.

_Leknaat taught me that dwelling on things like will only hurt me in the long run._

How convenient for Luc that he could choose what to dwell on. When Yuber wasn’t thinking about sex, he was thinking about killing. Had he truly been summoned by Luc’s bloodlust? Or had something more powerful played a role in his creation?

Yuber had no memory of existing before Luc summoned him, but he could feel something deep within his blood and bones, the imprint of billions of life forms that had been brought into existence by similar means. Humans, it seemed, formed from the union of two different cells produced by two different types of bodies. There was, then, a place from whence they came. What about beings like himself?

***

“Luc. Hey, Luc. Wake up.”

Luc groaned at the nagging voice in his ear. “What do you want? What time is it?” He reached for his phone and hit the home button. In the fleeting light, he could make out the outline of Yuber’s body hovering over him. “Goddammit, Yuber. It’s 2 in the morning.”

“Hey…Can I sleep here with you? I know it’s not normally something two guys do together, but….”

“What?” Luc scowled. “Are you scared of the dark or something? You don’t seem the type.”

Yuber considered the question. “I don’t know if ‘scared’ is the right word. It’s just…Fuck. I keep thinking about the fact that I didn’t exist before you created me. For some reason, it’s really creeping me out. My first memory is of knowing some of _your_ memories, all coming into my head at once, as you and I stared each other. There was nothing, and then there was _you_. Close your eyes.”

Luc blinked. “What?”

“Just do it.”

Luc sighed and closed his eyes.

“Everything looks black, but there’s something outside of your field of vision. It’s not more black, it’s just _nothing_. Right?”

“Yes, Yuber. That’s the way vision works. If we could see literally everything in the world, we would go insane.”

“That’s not what I mean. I don’t care that my vision is limited. I just hate thinking about what kind of thing that nothingness is. How can I go from not existing to existing, just like that?”

He shrugged. “How does anyone?” 

“But….” Yuber lowered his voice. “Think back to the earliest memory you have. You still know that you existed before then, right? You just don’t remember. You don’t remember the moment you came into existence, that moment of suddenly being aware of yourself and your surroundings. But I do. I can remember everything about that moment, but I can’t remember anything before it. I was pieced together from your thoughts, feelings, and memories. And I thought I was okay with it.”

Luc waited for him to go on, but Yuber remained silent. “But you’re not,” Luc suggested.

“Not really,” Yuber admitted. “I mean, humans are unique. They inherit a series of traits from an infinite number of possible combinations. So are animals. But what about me, and other monsters? Is my consciousness limited to whatever exists within _your_ consciousness? If a soul exists, do I have one? Or am I just a complex machine, an artificial intelligence?”

“Damn.” Luc lay back again. “That’s some pretty deep stuff you’re thinking about, Yuber. But I’ve had thoughts about the nature of my own existence, too. I think everybody has. Why do we exist? Why are we born? Why do we die? Leknaat talks of ‘destiny,’ but I’m not sure if I agree with her, or if I even want to believe in that stuff. What’s more disturbing—that we have certain things we’re _meant_ to do by some higher power, or that our existence has no purpose and it’s up to us to decide what it’s all about?”

Yuber sighed and lay next to Luc. “I don’t know,” he said glumly.

“I don’t know, either.” Then, Luc gave him a gentle smile. “But if sleeping here tonight makes you feel better, it’s all right. Do you want me to leave the light on?”

“No,” Yuber scoffed. Then, as soon as Luc turned the light back off, he muttered, “Yes.”

So, Luc slept with the light on that night. It was something he hadn’t done since he was ten years old, but it was worth it to see the look on Yuber’s face as he tried to hide his embarrassment.

***

“There you go, dear.” Leknaat finished tying the bow on Sarah’s Red Riding Hood cape. “You’re going to knock them dead at the party today.”

Sarah looked crestfallen. “But I don’t want anyone to die. I just want them to like me.”

“Oh.” Leknaat covered her mouth. “I didn’t mean it like that, Sarah. It’s just an expression. It means that they’ll really like your costume.”

Sarah turned to Luc and gripped his pants. “Can’t you come with me?”

Luc patted her head. “I’m sorry, Sarah. There’s no way Professor Mazus would let a little thing like family excuse my absence.”

“But….” Sarah’s shoulders slumped and tears filled her eyes. “They’re going to want me to have fun. What if I don’t have fun? They won’t like me even _more_ , than if I have fun.”

No one answered her. Luc had to admit to himself that it was a perceptive observation. How many times had he felt alienated by a crowd because he didn’t know how to “have fun”? How could he even learn how to have fun, when everyone looked at him with either disdain or fear?

Yuber knelt down in front of Sarah. “Listen to me, kiddo.”

Luc covered his eyes. “Oh, brother.”

“I don’t really know what your deal is,” Yuber said to her, “but it looks like you’re in the same boat as me. You’re different, right? You can do things that other people can’t do. That most people _shouldn’t_ do. You have some sort of power that can spiral out of control if you’re not careful. And that makes the other kids scared of you, right?”

Sarah’s chin trembled, but she nodded.

“But you know what? Let me tell you a secret.” He took her hands and leaned in close. “That’s bullsh—I mean, that’s a load of…garbage. People are ass—jerks. They learn it from their parents, who are afraid of things they don’t understand. Why? Because they’re weak. They’re weak, and so they teach their kids to be weak, and to pick on other kids to make them feel weak, too. And then they grow up and teach _their_ kids to make kids who are different feel weak.

“You’re not weak, all right? You’re strong. Stronger than they’ll ever be. And you’re going to get stronger. Stronger, and bigger, and one day, you’ll be able to stomp them into the ground. You’ll be able to k—to destroy them. But you won’t, because you’re not like them. You’re not weak.” He stood and gave her the thumbs up. “Show them how strong you are. And if things get tough, imagine them being stomped, squashed flat like a cockroach. That always helps me.”

“I don’t want to stomp them.”

“Then imagine them…being thrown in the trash. In one of those big, plastic bins you see in the lunchroom.” Yuber pounded a fist into his hand. “And then thrown out into the big dumpster outside with all the banana peels and potato skins and empty juice boxes. You’ll feel better. I promise.”

Sarah’s eyes grew distant as she pictured it, and then she grinned. “Okay. Thanks, Yuber.”

After Leknaat left to drive Sarah to school, Luc said, “That wasn’t terrible advice, actually. You showed remarkable restraint. I could tell you wanted to tell her to just go ahead and slaughter everyone.”

Yuber smiled slightly. “Nah. She doesn’t have it in her. Kids rarely do. Anyway, her problem is that she thinks there’s something wrong with _her_ , not with the ones who are actually doing the bullying.” He clenched his fists. “She’s so disgustingly adorable and _sweet_ that you want to slice to ribbons anyone who hurts her.”

Luc sighed. “If only more people could use magic, it wouldn’t be so stigmatized. There might be enough mages to open up a special school or something. Then, Sarah could be with her own kind.”

“Her own kind, huh?” Yuber grabbed Luc’s arm, startling him.

“Hey, what the—”

“It’s almost nine,” Yuber said, looking at Luc’s watch. “We’d better get going.” 

“Yeah….” Luc frowned and rubbed his arm where Yuber had gripped it. “Sorry, Yuber. I guess being with _your_ kind really isn’t an option for you, is it?”

Yuber shrugged.

***

He’d failed; Luc was sure of it. Maybe he wasn’t cut out for a history major, after all. A special school for mages would have been helpful for _him_ , too. Maybe he should switch to something that might actually be relevant to the talents he already had, like biology.

It was almost eleven. Since it was a half-day at Sarah’s school, she would be home in about fifteen minutes; Luc didn’t have a minute to spare if he was going to make sure she didn’t come home to an empty house.

However, as he turned the key in the ignition, the engine refused to start. He checked the fuel gauge, but there was plenty of gas left. He didn’t know much about cars, although Leknaat had tried to teach him. He sighed and pulled his phone out of his backpack to call a mechanic.

***

“All of Mantis’ dildos are 100% silicone,” Yuber assured the androgynous, bespectacled man in front of him. “Perfectly safe for use in any orifice.”

The man shook his head. “But is it _medical-grade_ silicone?” he persisted. “I want to be sure that it’s _safer_ than safe. I want to know that it can be sterilized.”

“Silicone can be sterilized,” Yuber explained. “Just boil it.”

“But it still smells after I boil it.”

“That doesn’t mean it’s not clean. Smell is weird like that. I assure you medical-grade silicone is no different.” Yuber placed both hands on the table and leaned forward with a bored expression, a trick Josephine had taught him that usually put nervous customers at ease. 

_It tells them that you couldn’t give a rat’s behind—if you’ll pardon my use of such a vulgar expression—about their sexual interests and orientations_ , she’d said.

“Then what do I _do_?” the flustered man asked. “I can’t keep buying new ones. It gets expensive, you know.”

Yuber kept a straight face as he answered, “I’ve found that the best way to get rid of any smell is to soak it in a 10% bleach solution.” It was a lie, of course—Yuber had yet to try using a dildo, let alone deodorizing it. But “outing” oneself as a fellow sex toy user was another good way to clear the air of any embarrassment, which was something that this fellow desperately needed. The important thing was that the method he had suggested worked.

The man’s phone rang. “Ah, excuse me.” He lifted the phone to his ear. “Hello, this is Huan the Car Doctor.” He squeezed the neon-green dildo in his hand through its plastic casing as he listened. “Yes, I see. Have you tried turning on the car lights? If they’re dim, the battery is low or dead.” A pause. “I see. That sounds like a dead battery, or possibly poor battery connections. Can you…? Okay, I understand. Where are you? …Yes, give me about 20 minutes.” There was another pause, and he said, “I’m sorry. That’s the soonest I can get there. …All right. Uh-huh. Bye.” He thrust the phone in his pocket and set the dildo on the counter. “I’ll get this, then. You know, it’s amazing to me how many young people don’t know the ins and outs of their own cars. If this young man did, he would probably have been able to solve his problem without my help.” He shook his head and added, “I feel bad for his sister, though. She’s going to come home to an empty house.”

“His sister?” Yuber repeated as he scanned and bagged the item.

“Or his daughter, maybe. He said, ‘Sarah will be home in ten minutes. Can’t you get here faster?’”

“Sarah….” Yuber frowned as he watched the man leave. Yuber had already learned that it was very common for two humans to have the same name. It could be another Sarah.

But what if it wasn’t? Luc always made sure to lock the door when they left. Did Sarah have an extra key, or would she be locked out, in the chilly October weather, by herself? What would she do? Would she panic and start crying? Would she run next door or across the street? Hell, what if someone snatched her up?

Hoping he wasn’t making a serious mistake, Yuber headed for his boss’s office.

***

There was no car in the driveway.

Sarah turned around to let the bus driver know, but he had already pulled away from the sidewalk. No other kids got off here.

Maybe it would be okay. Maybe Luc would still be inside.

Trying to ignore the cold feeling in her stomach, Sarah dashed to the front door and tried to open it. It was locked. She tried knocking on the door, then ringing the doorbell.

“Luc!” she shouted. “Luc! Luc! Leknaat! _Luc_!”

Where was Luc? He was always at home waiting for her. Why wasn’t he here? Did he forget about her?

What if Luc was never coming back? What if Luc and Leknaat had decided to leave her behind?

“No.” The cold feeling had settled at the bottom of her stomach, like a stone. She sat on the doorstep and pulled her knees to her chest. “Don’t leave me behind. You promised, Luc.”

Luc had said she would never be alone again, like the day she was found.

Like she had been for so many days after _that_ happened.

Had Luc done something like her mother did when she said she couldn’t live like this anymore?

Sarah rested her chin on her knees and began to cry.

***

“There it is!” Yuber recognized the eerie, pale-blue color unlike that of any other house on the street. He hadn’t even noticed how out-of-place it looked until now. “Damn, we’re still almost twenty minutes late. What if she’s run off?”

“I don’t think she has.” Josephine pulled alongside the curb. “Is that a Red Riding Hood costume? How cute! I could make it even cuter, though.”

Yuber ignored her as he fumbled with his seat belt and the door handle. “Josephine, you need to get a car from this century.” He finally opened the door and bolted out of the car. “Sarah!” he shouted as he ran over to her.

“Yuber, what happened?” Sarah jumped up and wrapped her arms around Yuber’s legs. “Where did Luc and Leknaat go? Did they leave me?”

“Of course not. They wouldn’t leave you.” Yuber gingerly pried the child from his body. “I don’t know for sure, but I think Luc had some car trouble. And Leknaat’s probably still at work.” He sighed with relief. “I’m glad you didn’t run away. I don’t know what I would have done.” 

“Hello, dear.” Josephine squatted in front of Sarah—or she appeared to be squatting. It was hard to tell with those giant skirts she always wore. “My, what a little fashion diva you are.”

“A what?” Sarah looked up at Yuber expectantly.

He shrugged. “I don’t know what that means, either. I think she’s complimenting your costume.”

“Oh.” Sarah turned back to Josephine. “Thank you.” 

“Hmmm.” Josephine eyed Sarah’s red hood and cape. “I think some lace would add to the girlish charm of this outfit. It looks storebought. Did your mommy buy this at the store?”

Sarah hung her head. “Mommy is…gone. She left me.”

“Leknaat adopted her,” Yuber said quickly. “And yeah, I think she got it at the store. Right, Sarah?”

“Yes.” Sarah rubbed her eyes, then smiled up at Yuber. “Thank you for coming.”

“Jeez.” Yuber looked away. “You’re…welcome. I guess.”

“ _Sarah_!” Luc was running up the sidewalk leading to the driveway. “Oh my God, Sarah. Are you okay?” He sped across the grass. “I’m so, so sorry. My car broke down and…Oh, no, you’ve been crying.” He cupped Sarah’s chin in his hand and stared down at her. “Really, Sarah, are you okay?”

“I’m okay,” she said. “Yuber said you wouldn’t abandon me.” Her eyes began to water again. “But I wasn’t sure. My mom left me alone that time.”

“I know.” Luc dropped to his knees and gave Sarah a hug. “But Leknaat and I never will, okay? I promise. And now Yuber’s here, too. If I can’t be with you, you can trust Yuber.”

Yuber felt something odd—an unfamiliar tingling sensation in his chest. _Trust_. To hear that word said in that way….

Had he ever been trusted? Had he ever been someone deserving of trust? Could she really trust him? Could he even trust _himself_?

Luc stood up and frowned at him. “Yuber? Is something wrong?”

He shook his head. “I don’t think so. Well, maybe. But I don’t want to talk about it now.”

Luc smiled at him. “Thank you for taking care of Sarah.”

Both of them turned to Josephine, who was telling Sarah, “Oh, honey, you could do so much better than this. Next year, have Leknaat call me. I’ll put together something twice as good for half the price.” She stood up as well. “Yuber, do you have a costume for tomorrow?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” he demurred. “I don’t really think I need one. Luc just hands out candy, so I don’t have any plans for tomorrow night, either.”

“Oh, but even candy givers need to dress up!” She clapped her hands gleefully. “Yuber, why don’t I pick up you and Luc tomorrow? I have some costumes hanging around my home, and I could give them to you for free. For _free_!”

Luc made a face. “If they’re ‘sexy’ costumes, I think I’ll pass. I don’t think answering the door to children dressed in a g-string is smiled upon here…or anywhere else.”

“ _Sexy_ doesn’t have to be _sexual_ ,” said Josephine. She pulled her phone out of her purse and showed some photos of costumes to Luc. “There are plenty of costumes in my inventory that even you would find tasteful. Really, _any_ kind of uniform is sexy, and we have them all: policeman, sailor, schoolboy, army general, even the guys from _Super Plumber Hero_. I’m sure at least one or two of the non-offensive ones are at my home.”

Luc shrugged, then began to unlock the door. “I doubt the trick-or-treaters will care whether or not I’m wearing a costume. It’s all kid’s stuff, anyway.”

“Um….” Sarah followed Luc into the house, then looked up at him. “I want to see you in a costume, Luc.”

“Why?” Luc asked. Yuber could tell he was trying to hide his disgust.

“Because it would be funny.”

Yuber didn’t bother to hide his amusement, and neither did Josephine. Both of them burst out laughing.

Luc rolled his eyes. “I’ll do it if Yuber does. And only if he promises to wear a goofier costume than me.” His expression softened when he saw Sarah’s eager grin. “I guess it’s okay to do kid’s stuff every now and then, even if you’re a grownup.” His phone rang, and he picked it up, only for his entire body to tense as soon as he answered. “Is she okay?” he demanded. He listened for a moment, then breathed a sigh of relief. “All right. I’ll be over there as soon as I can.”

“What’s going on?” Yuber asked.

“Leknaat got hit by a car.” He stuffed the phone into his pocket. “Broke her leg, but she’s all right otherwise. I don’t even want to know how _that_ happened.” He sighed again. “Anyway, we’d better head over there. I guess this means I’m going to have to take Sarah trick-or-treating.”

***

“You’re going to have to take Sarah trick-or-treating.” Leknaat smiled apologetically at Luc. “I was actually looking forward to it, but I can’t with my leg like this.”

Sarah hung her head. “It’s okay, Leknaat. I don’t have to go trick-or-treating.”

“Of course you’re going,” Luc said. “I don’t mind taking you. A nice, brisk walk during the fall is good for the body.”

Leknaat squeezed Sarah’s hand. “Luc knows the neighborhood just as well as I do.”

Luc never looked forward to Halloween; Leknaat’s house was a popular target for egging and TP-ing. At first, they had only done it while Leknaat was taking Luc trick-or-treating, but they had grown bold in the past several years, and they now vandalized the house while the residents were handing out candy.

Really, if it hadn’t been for the vandalism, Luc would have enjoyed Halloween as much as any other kid. Nobody denied him the candy he sought, and the other children were too busy collecting their own bounty to pick on him. When Leknaat waited at the end of the driveway, and he wore a mask, none of the adults passing out candy even knew who he was.

But coming home to a house covered with egg and toilet paper had a way of ruining an otherwise enjoyable evening.

“What are you thinking about?” Yuber asked.

“Not much,” Luc said. “I just hate Halloween. Older kids are never satisfied with getting candy. They always feel like they have to prove how big they are by playing pranks—expensive ones. Did you know that egg white can ruin the paint on your house?”

“I didn’t. There’s a lot I don’t know, actually.”

Luc scowled—something he did often, Yuber was beginning to realize. “I only know because I’ve lived through it. I don’t get it. People love magic in movies, but they hate people who can do magic in real life.”

“I…see.” Yuber fell silent for several moments. “What happened to Sarah?”

“I don’t know the details, but her mother abandoned her in the woods northeast of here. Probably couldn’t handle having a child who could use magic. Sarah doesn’t talk about it.”

“Yikes. That’s…harsh.”

“I sort of know what she’s been through,” Luc continued. “My parents kept me locked up in their attic for seven years. They were afraid of me, but I guess they had enough of a conscience to keep me alive. I still have nightmares about my life back then. That’s why I’m claustrophobic.”

“Damn.” Yuber’s voice was somber. “I didn’t know you’d been through all that. I’m really sorry.”

“It’s in the past,” Luc said. “But yeah…I suppose I created-slash-summoned you because I have some residual hatred for not just my bullies, but my biological parents as well.”

“What happened to them?”

He smiled bitterly. “They’re both serving time for child abuse and neglect. I should consider myself lucky, since nobody has any idea where Sarah’s biological mother is. Until you showed up, I thought I _did_ consider myself lucky.”

“I’m sure you did,” Yuber said. “You don’t seem to envy Sarah at all. All that hatred was subconscious. I think what’s inside the consciousness is more important. The subconscious doesn’t have any intent, you know? It’s pure emotion. But it’s what you _do_ that defines you are.”

“But I had to have some sort of ‘darkness’ in my heart make you like this, right?”

Yuber sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe. Probably. But whatever it is, I’m grateful. Being alive isn’t so bad, even if it isn’t always—” He stopped, his eyes fixated on something. Luc followed his gaze.

Leknaat was staring at Yuber. There was something meaningful in her expression, but he wasn’t too sure what it was. Judgment? Compassion? He looked back at Yuber. Whatever it was, it seemed to make Yuber uncomfortable.

“She knows me,” whispered Yuber.

“Of…of course she knows you,” Luc stammered, trying to ignore the uneasy feeling he was getting.

“No, I mean…She knows _about_ me.” Yuber swallowed nervously. “Luc, what _is_ she?”

Luc hesitated. Could he really tell Yuber? Leknaat hadn’t told him he couldn’t, but she had said he had to be careful about who he shared the information with. 

“Luc, please.” Yuber’s voice shook. “Answer me. What does she know?”

Luc had a sudden urge to take Yuber into his arms, but he forced himself to keep his hands in his lap. “She…She can see things happening. She can see future possibilities. I don’t know how it works, really, but she talks about ‘destiny’ a lot. But it’s not like ‘destiny’ is set in stone. She told me once, ‘The wheel of destiny is heavy for a man to turn, but it’s not impossible.’”

“Huh.” Yuber turned away from Leknaat. “Destiny sounds like an asshole.”

Luc chuckled. “Yeah. But Leknaat isn’t. She saved Sarah and me. There aren’t a lot of people are willing to take in children like us. We probably would have been in foster care until we turned eighteen. Because of her, I realized that there were parents out there who actually love and provide for their children.”

“So if she’s your adoptive mother, why do you call her by her name?” Yuber asked. “Why don’t you call her ‘Mom’?”

“‘Mom’ was what I called the woman who only came up to feed me three times a day and give me a bath once a week,” Luc said, his expression grim. “When I met Leknaat, I asked her what her name was, and she told me. So, that’s what I call her. I guess Sarah picked it up from me. Plus, she actually loves and misses her biological mother. I never have, and I never will.” He smiled at Sarah. “Ready to go, kiddo?”

“When will you come home?” Sarah asked Leknaat.

“In a few hours at most.” Leknaat gave her hand a squeeze. “But you should go with Luc. Do you have any homework today?”

“A little,” Sarah said. 

“Why don’t you ask Luc to help you? The painkillers might make me a little woozy tonight.”

“Okay.” She walked over to Luc and took his hand. “I’m ready now.”


	3. Chapter 3

Yuber laughed with triumphant glee as the character onscreen bore a drill into her would-be killer’s chest. He had been tempted to let her die, but the evil ex-surgeon’s method of execution made even Yuber cringe. The bastard deserved this.

The door opened, and Luc walked into the room. “Wow, you’re this far into the game already? I’m impressed.” He sat down on the bed. “Just curious. Who do you think the killer is?”

Yuber shrugged. “Well, the game’s hinting that it might be Ethan, but I think that’s a red herring.” 

“I don’t remember this scene.”

“You only get it if you have her accept the drink he gives her.” Yuber grinned. “I was trying to get her killed, but then I changed my mind and decided I’d rather see the creepy surgeon die instead. And I wasn’t disappointed.”

“I thought the killer was Ethan until the part—Well, you’re not there yet, but it’s when the game spells it out for you. You know, the big reveal. I was really shocked, too, but then, I was only 12.”

“This is a pretty violent game,” Yuber said. “I’m surprised Leknaat let you play it.”

“She was okay with me playing whatever—save for ‘adults only’ games—as long as she investigated it first and we had a discussion about whatever was in it. She even watched me play it a few times.” He watched as a different character walked around a scrapyard. “Want help?”

“No way.” Yuber directed the character to examine some footprints. “I’m not going to ruin my first video game by having you _help_ me.” He stared at the screen with a faraway smile. “Video games are so amazing. It’s like I could get sucked inside. It’s just like real life, only you get to control what happens.”

“Well, not all video games are this realistic,” Luc said. “But yeah, this one’s pretty involved. Everything you do affects the final outcome. There’s like 20 different endings.” He got up from the bed and sat next to Yuber on the loveseat. “That scene where you have to crawl through the tunnels and your oxygen’s running out and you encounter a dead body? That really fucked me up. I quit playing the game for a month.” 

“It took me forever to finish that part,” Yuber said as his character began to grapple with the owner of the scrapyard. “I kept getting lost. I don’t think you can die there.”

For several minutes, Luc watched while Yuber played, both men’s eyes fixed on the screen. He managed to win the fight against the owner of the scrapyard, then the scene ended and he saved the game. 

“I think that’s enough for tonight.” Yuber switched off the television and the console. “I don’t want it to be over too quickly.” He returned to his seat. “These characters were all created in someone’s head. Still, they have thoughts and wishes of their own. They can feel pain. Am I supposed to feel guilty for making them suffer?”

It was obvious that Luc didn’t even have to think about the answer to that one. “No. They’re not real.”

“What makes them not real?”

“Well…Like you said, they were all created in someone’s head. They’re made up.”

“Like me.”

Luc shrugged, looking guilty. “Not…not really. I mean, when you create characters, they can’t act on their own. You can draw a picture, but it won’t move. You can write a story, but they can only do things that you, the author, write them as doing. And when you make a video game, you still have to program everything that they do, and everything that will happen to them, and what choices the player can make for them, and how those choices will impact their fate. All of that is set in stone _before_ the game even starts. Remember, I just wanted you to be a playmate for Sarah, and you couldn’t even do that.” He gave Yuber a playful smile. “Don’t get me wrong. I like you the way you are. But you’ve made it clear that you’re able to act on your own. I mean, when I had car trouble, I wasn’t thinking, ‘If only Yuber would somehow figure out what’s happening and go to Sarah.’ You did that yourself.”

Now, that was a surprise. “You really like me the way I am?”

“Well…yeah. I mean, you’re annoying sometimes, and now and then I worry that you actually will kill someone. But for the most part, you’re just a little grumpy.” He tentatively patted Yuber on the shoulder. “Like me.”

It wasn’t the first time Yuber had been touched by Luc, but there was something special about this time. It was almost as if Luc had accepted Yuber as a friend. Wait, could adults have friends? “So…Are friends something that just kids have?”

“What?” Luc laughed. “No, of course not. Anyone can have friends. I just happen to not have any.”

“What about me?”

“You’re not a friend,” Luc said. “You’re a….” He stopped talking, then frowned and seemed to truly ponder Yuber’s question. “No…I suppose…I suppose you _do_ meet the requirement for ‘friend.’” He turned away from Yuber and stared into space. “So this is what it feels like. Or am I just numb? It’s a lot to take in.”

“You’ve really never had a friend before?”

“No. After being tormented during most of my childhood, I convinced myself I didn’t need any, that Leknaat was all I needed. Now that I look back on it, some kids tried to reach out to me in middle and high school, but by then, I didn’t trust anyone. I assumed they just felt sorry for me, and were maybe willing to hang out once or twice before getting bored with faking it. A couple of bullies apologized later, too, and awkwardly tried to invite me places. I told them to forget about it, did the whole ‘It’s okay, it’s in the past’ thing, but told them I wasn’t interested. The relief on their faces told me enough: I’d cleared their guilty consciences, and they didn’t have to pretend to be my friend.”

“Hey,” Yuber said.

“Hm?”

“Tell me about the day you made me.”

Luc smiled. “That’s funny. I used to ask Leknaat to tell me about the day she met me. But I guess I really haven’t told you anything leading up to that moment I made you, huh? Well, I’d just told Sarah about how Leknaat and I could make monsters….”

 

“…and then you asked, ‘Who is it you need me to kill?’ I’ll never forget that.”

“I was so looking forward to it, too.” Yuber chuckled. “I never expected your answer to be ‘No one!’ And when you also didn’t want to sleep with me, I didn’t know _what_ to think. Why had you even made me if you didn’t want me to do the things I was made _for_? Only after you explained to me what you had originally planned did I understand that I was a mistake.”

Luc had been smiling as Yuber spoke, but now, his face grew serious. “Yuber, what makes you think I consider you a mistake?”

“Well, I am, aren’t I?” Yuber demanded. “A mistake is something you didn’t mean to do, right?”

“Well….” Luc looked away. Jeez, this was awkward. “Technically, I guess…But, Yuber, typically you wish you hadn’t committed a mistake. If you could go back in time, you wouldn’t do it again. But that’s not how I feel. I’m glad I made you.”

“Hmph.” Yuber stared down at his lap. “Hey, Luc…How big is your penis?”

Luc nearly jumped out of his seat. “ _What_? Why the hell are you asking?”

“I’m curious. Apparently, it’s a big deal? Like, I’ve had three different guys share their penis length with me. For no reason. Like, they weren’t trying to ask what size pocket pussy they needed, or something. One guy said, ‘Wow, you carry penis extenders? I feel sorry for anyone who has to use one of those. In fact, I’ve been with women who think I’m _too_ big. Of course, they ended up loving it once I showed them what a real man can do. You know?’ And he said it loudly, like he wanted everyone in the shop to hear.”

Luc snorted. “He was insecure, which means he probably had a small one. It shouldn’t be a big deal, but it is.”

“If it’s not a big deal,” Yuber said, “then tell me. I’m curious.”

Luc hesitated. Then… “Oh, what the hell. It’s eight inches.”

Yuber’s eyes widened. “Seriously?” 

“Yes.”

“Can I see it?”

“It’s not eight inches _now_ ,” Luc said, rolling his eyes. “It has to be, you know, erect. And I don’t feel like getting it erect in front of you.”

“I’ve been meaning to ask you about that,” Yuber said. “Why are you so reluctant to sleep with me? You wanted someone to have sex with, right? Someone to keep you warm at night? I’ve learned some things from my job, you know. I’ve learned what two guys with dicks can do together. I can top or bottom, although I think bottoming sounds more interesting. There were two things I was specifically designed for: murder and sex. And while murder isn’t considered a good thing, sex definitely is!”

“Oh, my God!” Luc covered his face. “I don’t just want sex, Yuber. I want a relationship. I want to love and be loved.” He lowered his hands to see Yuber looking at him quizzically. “Is that so strange?”

“Love,” Yuber repeated. “You love Leknaat and Sarah, and they love you. But that’s not what you’re talking about, is it? Nor is the love you have for tomatoes.”

“No, it’s not.” Luc realized that he’d never really thought about what romantic love actually _was_. “It’s hard to explain. But it’s probably the most talked about, written about, and sung about subject in all of human history. Most people want it in their lives. It’s like…a warm feeling. They’re the most important person to you, and when you’re not with them, it hurts. It’s kind of selfish, because it’s like…you want them to love you, too. You want to be _their_ most important person, too. You don’t just want to have sex with them. You want to hold them and touch them and kiss them. But it’s also selfless—you want them to be happy more than anything.”

Yuber looked thoughtful. “Then…It seems that the only things that make it different from the love you have for Leknaat and Sarah is that it’s unhealthy.”

Luc frowned at Yuber. “Why do you say that?”

“It hurts when you’re not with them, you said. That doesn’t sound healthy, does it? I mean, you’re not in pain when you’re not with Sarah or Leknaat. You’re not with either of them now. But you’re not hurting, are you?”

“No, no.” Luc made an impatient gesture with his hand. “I’m probably not explaining it right. I don’t mean that you’re hurting literally all the time you’re not with them. It’s more like…If they’re gone for a long time, or if you can’t be together, you miss them. It’s, I don’t know, more _intense_ than when you miss other people. It’s like a part of your body is missing.”

“A part of my body, huh?” Yuber looked down at his hand and shrugged. “Yeah, I guess that would kind of suck. Although I can regenerate most body parts if they’re cut off.”

“Really?”

“Uh-huh. The only thing I can’t regenerate is my heart.”

“What about your brain?” Luc asked. It was a ridiculous-sounding question; he couldn’t keep himself from smiling.

“Hmmm…Maybe not my brain, either.” Yuber met Luc’s eyes and smiled as well. “But a kidney or two would be child’s play. Or a penis, for that matter.”

Luc shuddered and crossed his legs. “Let’s not think about that.” He looked at the clock. “Anyway, it’s getting late. We should get to bed if we’re going to Josephine’s tomorrow.”

***

The first costume was made of a pure-white, stretchy material and appeared to cover only one side of the chest. The bottom half came to just above the knees. Around the hips was a sash, the same color as the rest of the costume, with a gold-colored medallion on the side.

The second costume consisted of a similar material, but it was dark blue instead. The top half was a t-shirt with pockets, a tie, and a silver badge, and the bottom half was a pair of shorts.

“Hmm….” Yuber stroked his chin and pondered the two outfits. 

“I didn’t have as many male costumes as I thought I would,” Josephine said sheepishly. She was wearing a Victorian dress decorated with black net spiderwebs. A few plastic spiders dangled from her hair, and from her ears.

“A toga and a fantasy cop outfit,” Luc grumbled. “Just great.”

Josephine glared at him. “I’m offering them for free. You don’t have to take them. But most stores will be fresh out of costumes by now.”

Yuber began to take off his clothes. “Relax,” he said when he saw Luc’s and Josephine’s expressions. “I’ll keep my underwear on.”

Luc groaned, but didn’t bother covering his eyes. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen Yuber’s body before.

Josephine just shrugged. “I don’t mind if you don’t.”

“Let’s try this one first.” Yuber pulled the toga over his head. It was obviously a size medium; the lower half barely covered his groin.

“Oh, my,” Josephine murmured, fanning herself in an exaggerated manner. “You are quite the specimen, Yuber.”

“I think so, too.” Yuber wiggled his eyebrows at her, and she giggled. He turned to Luc, who was trying to conceal his own amusement. “But I think this is going to look too risqué. I wouldn’t want Sarah to be traumatized.”

Luc nodded. “Probably for the best. And those cop shorts look a little tight. I’m _definitely_ not wearing them.”

“He’s well-endowed,” Yuber explained.

“Yuber!”

Josephine seemed to notice Luc’s discomfort. She looked back at Yuber and said, “Most people don’t like having intimate details about themselves shared, Yuber. I’m surprised you couldn’t tell that Luc was one of those people.”

“Sorry, Luc,” Yuber said, feeling subdued. He shrugged out of the toga and began to put on the cop uniform.

Luc sighed. “It’s fine. I don’t care that much. Just don’t do it again.” He picked up the toga uniform and headed for Josephine’s bathroom.

Yuber finished changing and sat on one of Josephine’s poofy pink chairs. “I still don’t understand the way humans think sometimes,” he admitted.

Josephine, who had been heading for the kitchen, stopped. “‘Humans’?”

“Oh, right. You didn’t know, huh?” Yuber smacked his forehead. “I fucked up.”

“Hmmm….” Josephine stepped into the kitchen and began to make herself a drink. “I did notice that you didn’t say you were an undocumented immigrant; you simply said that that was the closest to what you actually were. But if you don’t want to share anything with me, you don’t have to.”

“I don’t mind,” Yuber said. “Besides Luc, you’re probably the closest friend I have. And you seem tolerant of different people, so I guess I can trust you. I’m a monster.”

“Oh, I see,” Josephine said, as though she were used to people telling her they were something other than human. Yuber watched as she opened a can of pureed pumpkin. “I’ve never seen a humanoid monster before.”

That was surprising to hear. “You’ve seen other monsters, then?”

“Oh, yes.” She blended a few drinks, including vodka and apple cider, into one before adding some of the pumpkin. “I’m originally from Armes, you know, but I lived in Falena for six years. They were having problems with an invasive species of bird that was eating the native sun moth. Magic users aren’t really well-liked in Falena, either, so it wasn’t until the sun moth was nearly pushed to the brink of extinction that they enlisted some for help to create a species that would prey on the birds without damaging the ecosystem further. They were actually pretty cute; they looked like dragons.” She shook the ingredients together before pouring the mix into a drinking glass. “Would you like some pumpkin and apple cider? It’s alcoholic, though. Can monsters drink alcohol?”

“Probably. Sure, I’ll try some.” Yuber began to get up.

“Oh, no no no. I’m the hostess here. I’ll bring you your drink. Does Luc drink, too? Wait, how old is he?”

Yuber had no idea how to answer either question. Apparently, he didn’t know Luc very well. “You’ll have to ask him.” He took the drink Josephine had brought to him. “Thank you.” 

“Some people don’t like the taste of alcohol,” Josephine said. “Don’t feel like you have to finish it.”

Yuber took a sip. The drink itself was sweet, but the alcohol was very bitter, and it gave him a burning sensation. He made a face, then set it down on a coaster on the end table. “Looks like I’m one of those people.”

Luc walked out of the bathroom. The toga costume looked much better on him. “I guess I’m wearing this tonight.”

“Why do you have your hand over your nipple?” Yuber asked.

Luc blushed. “Because,” he hissed.

“Oh, right. Sorry.” It hadn’t occurred to Yuber that men might also have a problem with people seeing their nipples. It didn’t bother him. “How do I look?”

“Okay, I guess.” Luc’s gaze flew to Yuber’s groin. “…Yeah, I’m definitely not trying that on.”

“It is a little tight,” Yuber agreed. “But I think Sarah will be okay if I don’t make a point of showing it to her. I’m only 5.1 inches. And like you said, it’s even smaller when I’m not excited.”

Josephine began to cough. “You don’t have to tell that to everyone, okay, Yuber? Especially don’t say anything to Sarah.”

“Oh, give me some credit.” Yuber picked up the glass again. The drink wasn’t terribly tasty, but something made him want to keep drinking it. “I know that sex and kids don’t mix. That wasn’t hard to figure out from working at your shop.”

“How old are you, dear?” Josephine asked Luc.

“I’m eighteen, so no drinks for me. Thanks.” Luc had finally become comfortable enough to remove his hand from his nipple. “How is Yuber doing at work, anyway?”

“Oh, he’s _delightful_ ,” Josephine gushed. “He is so good with our customers. You know, Hanna is always embarrassed to be working there, and that rubs off on the customers. But Yuber isn’t ashamed at all, and he’s picking up on so much. He’s already an expert on transgender-inclusive language.”

Yuber smiled proudly. “I’m getting to be an expert.”

Luc nodded. “Good. Okay, finish your drink. Trick-or-treating starts around five-thirty, and we need to make sure Leknaat will be comfortable handing out candy. If not, you’ll have to stay home and give it out instead.”

***

“Oh, trust me, I’ll be just fine,” Leknaat assured the two men as they placed a rocking chair on the front step. She was dressed as Mother Goose, with a long, green dress, a ruffled collar, and a striped stocking and buckled shoe on her uninjured leg. Luc didn’t like the costume; it looked too much like a witch’s outfit, and he knew that was how most people would interpret it. “I’ll just hand out the candy here.”

“But won’t you be cold?” Yuber asked. 

She winked at him. “Who do you think I am? I cast a spell to protect myself from the elements. I’m sure Luc already has, too.”

“I’m still wearing a sweater and pants when we leave,” Luc said. “They’ll know I’m a magic user if I don’t cover myself up.”

Leknaat smiled sadly. “Luc, most people in this neighborhood already know you’re a magic user.”

“Yeah, but the less I remind them of that fact, the better.” Luc turned to Sarah. “Are you ready?”

“Yes.” Sarah was dressed in her Red Riding Hood costume and was protected by Leknaat’s spell. She held a jack-o-lantern shaped bucket in one hand. 

“Be home by nine-thirty,” Leknaat called as Luc, Sarah, and Yuber headed down the driveway.

***

The neighborhood wasn’t the absolute best for trick-or-treating; only a few people decorated their houses, several gave out pennies instead of candy, one gave out a toothbrush and dental floss, and there were six in a row that didn’t even participate.

But Sarah seemed to be having fun. She loved the attention she got from people who told her how cute her costume was, and from that one house at the end of their street that gave out an entire candy bar. Another person, seeing her difficulty in choosing between a cherry and grape lollipop, let her take both. A few even gave Luc and Yuber some candy, although they gave Yuber, who had refused to wear a jacket or pants, some strange looks. One woman wolf-whistled. Another said, “Isn’t it nice that the two of you can be together in the open like this? That wouldn’t have been allowed in my day.”

“Does she know I’m a monster?” Yuber asked Luc as they headed back down the driveway.

“No,” Luc said. “She thinks that you and I are married and that Sarah is our child.”

“Oh. What does she mean, ‘That wouldn’t have been allowed in my day’?”

Luc shook his head. “It’s not entirely true, but far more people used to disapprove of two men or two women being in a relationship. Also, marriage between two people of the same gender wasn’t legal until last year.”

Yuber was about to ask why, when he noticed that Sarah had begun to walk faster. She was also looking over her shoulder, like she was being chased. “What’s wrong, Sarah?”

“I saw Robert and Nathan,” she said. “They’re big boys, second graders. They’re mean.” No sooner were the words out of her mouth when she was hit from behind by a clod of dirt.

“Hey, Scaredy Sarah,” a boy dressed as a stick figure shouted. “Why aren’t you dressed up as a witch?”

“That’s against the rules, Robert,” said a second boy, who was wearing a very well-made camera costume. “You can’t go as yourself.”

Luc felt his cheeks burn with fury. “Get out of here, brats,” he snarled.

“Oh, what are you going to do about it? Put a spell on us?” Robert taunted. “Go ahead, Harry Potter. You’re gonna get in trouble if you hurt me. My dad’s a cop.”

“And mine’s the mayor,” the other kid, who must be Nathan, added. “Anyway, we’re sorry, Sarah. Here, you can have some of my candy.” He walked over to Sarah and held out his hand. “Go ahead, take it.”

Sarah looked up at him. He seemed sincere. Cautiously, she put out her hand and accepted what he offered her. Suddenly, she made a face, then threw it to the ground and began to cry.

“Sarah, what is it?” Luc asked.

Yuber knelt to the ground, then rolled his eyes. “It’s a bunch of chewed-up sunflower shells.”

“It’s gross,” Sarah sobbed. “Why do they hate me so much?”

“What the heck is wrong with you two?” Luc demanded of the boys, who were howling with laughter. “Do you feel big, picking on someone two years younger than you?” He gathered Sarah into his arms. “Hey, it’s okay. Don’t cry, Sarah. Remember what Yuber said? They’re just weak.”

Yuber walked over to the boys and grabbed each one by the shirt collar.

“What’s your problem, _jerk_?” Nathan glared at Yuber and tried to pull away—unsuccessfully. 

“Leggo!” Robert commanded. “My dad’s gonna beat you up.”

“Look at me, you little shits,” Yuber hissed. “I don’t give a fuck if your daddy is the president of Harmonia. If I see you do one more shitty thing to Sarah, or I hear about it, I’m going to kill you. Literally. I’ll chop you up into pieces. And if your daddy comes after me, I’ll do the same to him. I—”

He stopped. Both boys were staring up at him, their faces stricken with a horror Yuber had never seen before. He had thought it would feel good to make the kids regret picking on Sarah, but now he realized that he was far bigger than either of them. They truly _believed_ that he would kill them, and he had already ensured that they would have nightmares for the next several nights.

What scared him was that, even as he realized this, there was a part of him that wanted to continue to terrorize them until they were crying and wetting their pants. He longed to transform into a creature from their nightmares and chase them all the way home, crush their little spirits until they were not only afraid to hurt Sarah, but to hurt anyone. He wanted to say mean, nasty things to make them hate themselves as much as they hated her.

But these were _kids_ , for God’s sake. They were barely older than Sarah! And the better part of him knew that what he was doing was wrong.

 _Leknaat taught me that dwelling on things…will only hurt me in the long run_.

“J-just kidding,” Yuber said. It wasn’t the best way to cover his ass, but it was all he could think of. He gently set the kids back on the ground. Robert stumbled backward and fell on his bottom. Nathan rubbed his eyes. “Anyway, do you understand now? It’s not okay to pick on someone just because they’re smaller than you. And the way you feel right now? That’s how Sarah feels every time you’re mean to her. Is it really worth it?”

Both boys shook their heads frantically. Nathan grabbed a handful of candy from his bag and walked over to Sarah, before dropping it into her bucket. “I’m sorry,” he stammered.

“I’m sorry I scared you.” Yuber took two pieces of candy from his jacket and put one in each boy’s bag. “I’m not going to hurt either of you, or either of your daddies. But don’t be mean to Sarah anymore, all right?”

“And if you call me a witch again,” Sarah added, “just remember: What you say is what you are! You’re a naked boobie star!”

Robert managed to choke out a laugh. Then, he burst into tears.

“Oh, shit.” Yuber looked guiltily at Luc. “I really fucked that up, didn’t I?”

“Yes, you did. And stop swearing.” Luc sighed and awkardly patted Robert on the shoulder. “It’s okay. If Yuber even jokes about killing you again, I’m locking him in my workshop—I mean, my basement. He won’t scare you anymore.”

“ _Robert_!” A woman without a costume ran up to Robert and grabbed him by the shoulders. “What did I tell you about running off by yourself? It’s dangerous! You could have been run over by a car, or kidnapped, or….” She threw her arms around him, then looked up at Yuber. “Young man, aren’t you freezing?”

“Um…maybe….” Yuber stared down at his bare legs. “Yeah, a-a little. But we’re going home now.”

“You, too, Nathan,” the woman scolded. “Your parents would have my head if anything happened to you. They’d cut me up into little pieces, and do the same to Willian. And if the two of you’ve been picking on this poor girl again—”

“They haven’t,” Sarah interrupted. “They just wanted to say they were sorry, and that they won’t do it again.”

The woman looked at Sarah suspiciously, then turned to Yuber. “Is this true?”

“Sure is,” Yuber answered, avoiding her gaze. “Yep, that’s definitely what happened.”

Luc stepped forward. “He’s telling the truth. I’m sorry, ma’am. He’s just shy around beautiful women.”

“Oh.” The woman’s cheeks turned pink. “Well, if you say so….” She took the boys’ hands in her own. “Okay, guys. One more street and that’s it. Okay?”

The boys agreed, and the three of them headed down the road.

“Do you think they were telling the truth about Robert’s sister?” Yuber asked.

Luc shrugged. “Who knows? It doesn’t matter to me, as long as they stop teasing Sarah. At least his mom seems to be on her side.”

“I know her,” Sarah said. “She helps the teacher sometimes.”

“Okay, Sarah.” Luc patted her on the head. “Let’s go back and enjoy the fruits of our labor.”


	4. Chapter 4

When the group returned home, several eggs already decorated the front and side walls.

“We’re not going to clean it up?” Yuber asked.

“It’s only a quarter to seven,” Leknaat said. “There would be no point in doing it now. We always wait until the morning after.”

“Let’s get you inside,” Luc said. “Sitting out here obviously didn’t keep them from egging your home, anyway. I swear, they get bolder every year.”

Yuber shook his head as he helped Leknaat out of her chair. “Isn’t there something you guys can do? I don’t know, set up a video camera or something?”

Luc picked up the bowl of candy and the chair Leknaat had been sitting in and started to carry—drag—them toward the house. “Sarah, can you get the door?” he asked.

“Okay.” Sarah opened the door and went inside.

“Anyway, even if we got them on camera, Halloween is the perfect night to vandalize,” Luc continued. “Everyone’s in disguise. And while some kids go with more unique costumes, like those two second graders, there are still a lot of witches and devils. Even if people in the neighborhood _did_ know someone who dressed up as a devil or witch, how would they know it was the right one? We’d have to show the footage to everybody, and even then, it would only work if someone was willing to come forward with the information.” He replaced the chair and bowl of candy in the living room.

“Thank you for the help, Luc, Yuber.” Leknaat sat in her usual chair and smiled at Sarah. “Did you have fun?”

Sarah was already chewing on a Tootsie Roll. “Yes.”

“What happened with the second graders?” Leknaat asked Luc.

“Oh….” Luc shrugged, knowing it would be pointless to try to dodge the question. “I guess a couple of them have been teasing Sarah. But Yuber managed to convince them to leave her alone from now on.”

“I see.” Leknaat turned her gaze on Yuber, who seemed to shrink. “You seem tense, Yuber. Why don’t you tell me all about it?” She looked back at Luc, adding, “Luc, please make us some hot cider. Sarah, bring one of my blankets from the hall closet.”

As soon as Luc was busy with his task, he heard Yuber tell Sarah about what had happened. It surprised him that Yuber even revealed to Leknaat that he had actually wanted to traumatize and verbally abuse those children. _Luc_ certainly hadn’t realized that, and it made him sick to know that Yuber had been thinking of doing such terrible things.

He placed the cider mix on the stove and returned to the living room just in time to hear Yuber say, “I’m scared.”

Leknaat looked at Luc, but didn’t say anything. Sarah had already returned with a blanket and was now wrapping it around Yuber’s shoulders.

“Is this something you’re comfortable talking about in front of Luc and Sarah?” Leknaat asked.

“Well….” Yuber eyed Sarah. “Not exactly.”

“Sarah, why don’t you go watch a Princess Flare DVD? Luc will put it on for you. You can bring your candy.”

“Okay!” Sarah said excitedly. “I want to watch the blue one.”

“Sure, we can watch whatever one you want,” Luc said, taking her hand. He wasn’t sure if Yuber didn’t want to talk with either one of them around, or if he was just afraid of scaring Sarah, but he couldn’t think of any way to ask without making things more awkward.

The family room was the biggest room in the house, with plenty of space for reading, playing board games, and watching TV. With a box of toys in one corner, a shelf filled with children’s books in another, and a giant red rug and a fluffy, oversized orange couch in front of the television set, it was a special place where Luc had spent countless hours as a child.

Sarah had six _Princess Flare’s Play-Along_ DVDs, all of which had been bought by Leknaat at a garage sale about a week after she had adopted Sarah. Each one was in a different color, and Sarah’s favorite was “the blue one,” the first half of Season 3. After Luc had started the DVD, he went to his room to retrieve his favorite novel, _I Challenged God Like a Fool_ , before returning to the family room to keep Sarah company.

What was Yuber afraid of? Did it have something to do with not existing before being created, like he had mentioned to Luc the first time they slept in the same bed? No, it was probably related to Yuber being tempted to hurt those kids. Luc could kind of understand. How many times had he wished to hurt his bullies? When his parents were put in prison, he remembered _praying_ that they would suffer as much as he had. 

But he had never wished harm on someone younger and weaker than himself. That would be crossing a line. Even when he had found out Sarah was being teased, he had never really thought much about doing anything to those kids other than getting them to stop. Of course, he had hoped they would be punished, but not in any method that would cause lasting harm.

According to Yuber, Luc had created him with the darkness in his own heart. But had his heart ever been _that_ dark?

He looked over at Sarah, who was happily listening to one of the duets Chisato sang with her Princess Flare puppet. He could also understand wanting to protect her. He, too, had felt rage against her tormenters, although, in his case, it was the impotent rage of knowing that, no matter what he said, those two would most likely evade punishment.

How much did Yuber understand about children, anyway? He had formed as an adult, and probably had no idea what children were like or how they felt. What if _Sarah_ angered him somehow? If he was going to keep living here, it was bound to happen. Sarah, like any small child, could get on one’s nerves sometimes. Even Luc, who was more tolerant toward children than most other people he knew, had been angry with her a few times already. He had learned to control his temper, but could Yuber do the same before he really hurt someone?

Feeling too mixed up to focus on his novel, Luc set it down on the turquoise end table and resigned himself to watching “Let’s Play Pirates!” yet again.

***

“Why do I have this…this _rage_ inside me?” Yuber’s hands balled into fists as he stared at his lap. “It couldn’t just be what Luc was feeling when he created me, could it?”

“It may be,” Leknaat said. “There is an animated film that personifies the emotions we as humans feel: Joy, Anger, Fear, Sadness, and Disgust. In that film, human has an emotion that is ‘in charge’ more often than others. It did a great job of explaining how we can be ruled by our emotions. That goes for monsters, too. Because Anger was ‘in charge’ of Luc when he created you, it became the emotion that is most often ‘in charge’ of you. You can, of course, experience other emotions—and I suspect you have already—but anger comes especially easily to you.”

“Then…there’s nothing I can do?” Yuber tried to hide the despair he was feeling, but it felt as though Leknaat could see right through him.

“You have weaknesses, like every living creature, but that does not mean you are helpless. We all have a choice, Yuber.” Dear God, did this woman ever blink? “We can choose to let our weaknesses consume us, or we can choose to learn from them.” She stood. “The cider must be ready by now. I’ll be right back.”

“What about your leg?” Yuber asked. 

“Oh, I’ll be all right. I heal pretty quickly. I just need to be careful, that’s all.”

Yuber watched her leave, his thoughts wandering. There had been a subtle change in Luc’s demeanor when he had returned from preparing the cider. He must have heard what Yuber had said about wanting to hurt the kids. But hadn’t he already known? Hadn’t he wanted to do the same? They had been so cruel to Sarah. Wasn’t hurting them the only way to make them understand how it felt when they hurt other people? But in the end, all he could do was scare them straight.

“Here.” Leknaat handed a cup to Yuber. “Careful, it’s hot.” She sat down again, blowing into her cup to cool it. 

Yuber took a little sip, then shrugged. “It’s not so bad. So…What should I do?”

She took a drink, then looked at him with that same, probing gaze. “Yuber, do you know what empathy is?”

“Hmm….” Yuber quickly searched his memory for the term, but came up empty. “No, I don’t think I’ve heard of that before.”

“It’s the ability to feel what another person is feeling. Most people feel it without realizing it. For example, when you asked me about my leg just now, you did so because your mind had, in a billionth of a second, imagined how much it would hurt to re-injure my leg.”

“So, empathy is what makes someone nice or mean?” Yuber asked.

“Not necessarily.” She took another drink, easing up on the way she looked at him. “You don’t always have to feel empathy to be a good person. And some people are very empathetic, but unkind to others. In general, however, it is easier to show compassion to someone when you understand how they feel. From childhood, humans are taught to treat others the way they would like to be treated—that is, with consideration and respect. You did not have the benefit of a childhood, Yuber, so you have some catching up to do. Fortunately, empathy, like most skills, can be learned.”

“How do I learn that?”

She smiled. “How did you learn how to sell sex toys?”

He shrugged. “I listened to Josephine’s suggestions. Watched Hanna’s example of how to _not_ sell sex toys.”

“And did you know how to do everything right away?”

“Of course not. I made plenty of mistakes. Sometimes, I still make them. But I’ve gotten better with practice.” His eyes widened as he realized what Leknaat was saying. “So I need to practice? How am I going to do that?”

“That’s the problem, isn’t it? Unlike learning how to bake or paint, you can’t just practice whenever you wish. You need to look for opportunity, and you will only find it when you are angry. Or sad. Or anything else that makes you want to focus only on yourself. You will need to practice thinking about what other people are feeling, and show kindness to them. This is especially important when you are angry. When somebody makes you angry, wait. Consider things from their perspective.”

Yuber gripped the legs of his pants in frustration. “But what if they’re just an asshole? I’m going to look like a fool for letting them walk all over me.”

“Nobody said you have to let them walk all over you.” Leknaat got to her feet. “Yuber, I’m going to lend you a book of mine. I think you will like it.” She went into her room for a few moments, then came back with a small paperback, which she placed in Yuber’s lap.

“‘Kindness is Badass’?” Yuber frowned at the cover, which looked like one of those romance novels from the literature rack at work. “How long have you had this?”

“About thirty years. Trust me, though, it is every bit as relevant now as it was then.” Leknaat gave him a conspiratory smile that made his heart race. “I’ll tell you a secret: I used to have quite a temper myself.”

Yuber couldn’t hide his scorn. “That’s hard to believe. You’re always so calm and… _perfect_.”

“Nobody’s perfect, Yuber. Not even me.” She returned to her seat and continued to look at him. “Read that book, Yuber. You’ll start to understand how strong kindness can be. It helped me a great deal when I was having difficulty controlling my own feelings of anger and frustration.”

Yuber thumbed through the book; the chapters had names like “Kicking Violence’s Ass” and “Cruelty is for Wussies.” It reminded him of what he had said about Sarah’s bullies being “weak.” “Okay, I guess I’ll give this a read. Thanks, Leknaat.” He looked up at her again. “To be honest, I wasn’t sure how you would respond to me living here. I certainly didn’t think you’d let me stay here for free. Thank you.”

She shook her head. “It wasn’t for free. You’ve paid me back by giving Luc the one thing I never could.” 

“If you mean sex, we haven’t—”

“No, no.” Leknaat held up a hand to stop him. “I don’t need to hear about that. I mean that you’ve become his friend. From the moment that I adopted Luc, I’ve tried my best to meet his emotional needs, but I could not force anyone to be friends with him. I couldn’t even convince him to open himself up to the possibility. But somehow, you’ve carefully taken down the walls he’d built around himself. Thank _you_ , Yuber.”

He searched her face for any hint of deception or sarcasm. She seemed to be telling the truth, but…. “I wish I could take credit for something, but I haven’t done anything. Luc broke his own walls in order to make sure I didn’t ruin his life.”

“If that is what you choose to believe…But do not underestimate how much Luc cares about you.” She smiled again and held out her cup. “Would you be so kind as to get me another drink?”

***

Sarah was asleep, but Yuber was either still talking to Leknaat or was, for the first time since that first night, sleeping on the couch. Luc had never imagined the two of them would fit in this bed, but now it felt big and empty without Yuber next to him.

 _I’m such an idiot,_ Luc thought. _What the hell was I thinking? That Yuber would just stop thinking like a serial killer if I showed him enough love and kindness? That he’d be in better control of his emotions than an average two-week-old?_ But no, that wasn’t right. Yuber was “new,” but he wasn’t an infant. He had made that much clear from the beginning.

There was a knock on the door.

Luc got to his feet, frowning. His confusion only grew when he opened the door. “Yuber? Since when do you knock?”

“I wasn’t sure if you’d want me in your bed tonight.” He quickly sat in Luc’s chair, avoiding eye contact. “What I did tonight really freaked you out, huh?”

There was no point in lying. “Yeah.”

“It kind of freaked me out, too.” There was a book in his hands; even in the dim light from the hallway, Luc knew what it was. “I don’t want to be the kind of person who has Anger in charge all the time. And when it is, I want to take charge of Anger and make sure he doesn’t make me hurt people.”

“‘He’?” Luc repeated.

“Ohh….” Yuber seemed to stumble over his words. “I mean, Anger. Like in the movie.”

“What movie?”

He listened as Yuber explained that Leknaat had used cartoon characters to explain emotions to him. It was just like Leknaat to use an explanation like that with a _monster_.

“And she gave me this book,” Yuber said.

“‘Kindness is Badass.’” Luc smiled at the memory. “Leknaat gave me that to read a long time ago. I had so much anger inside that I thought it was going to tear me up. I wanted to hurt everyone around me. I did, when I thought I could get away with it. I scoffed at the book when she showed it to me. I didn’t care about being ‘badass.’ I just wanted the pain to stop. But you’d be surprised how profound the things written in there are. Don’t let the titles of the chapters fool you. It’ll really give you a lot to think about.”

“Hmph.” Yuber stood up and set the book on Luc’s nightstand. “Well, I was going to read it, anyway. Let’s go for a swim.”

Luc had to make sure he’d heard correctly. “A swim? Now?”

“Yeah. Why not?”

“Because the pool’s going to be closed. It’s almost midnight.”

“No, no.” Yuber made an impatient gesture. “Outside. At the beach.”

“Are you insane? It’s gotta be, what, fifty degrees outside? We’d both freeze.”

“So what? Use one of those weather protect thingies.” He sat down next to Luc and stared him in the eye. “Come on. It’s late. Nobody will be there, and if someone is, we can leave right away. I really want to do this with you, Luc…just you. Please.”

 _I must be crazy,_ Luc thought. _No, I know I’m crazy._ He sighed. “I know I’m going to regret this, but fine. Just let me leave a note for Leknaat so she doesn’t think we’ve eloped in the middle of the night.”

***

The full moon shone bright enough to make it almost unnecessary for Yuber’s eyes to adjust to the darkness. He had never realized how beautiful and serene the night looked without the city lights. Far from being ominous, the calm glow of the moon and stars created a feeling of gentleness and security.

“I can only keep this spell going for about an hour,” Luc said, “so let’s make it count. Leknaat can cast it once without having to keep a continuous effort to keep it from fading, but I’m not as powerful as she is.”

“Right.” Yuber was already undressing. “I guess someone could still show up, huh?”

“Not likely, but yes, they could.” Luc frowned as he took off his shirt. “You don’t have anything to wear in the water, do you?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Yuber said, shrugging. “It’s not like anyone’s going to see me. And even if they did, it wouldn’t bother me.”

“Well, if you ever go swimming at the pool, you’re going to have to wear something. Public nudity is frowned upon in most places.” He turned away as Yuber removed his underwear.

“I don’t care if you look at me,” Yuber said. “It’s not like you haven’t seen my dick before.” Still, he afforded Luc the same courtesy. 

“Not everybody is as confident with their body as you, Yuber. Most of us don’t want just anybody to see our privates.... Okay, you can look now.”

“They look just like your boxer shorts,” Yuber said. “Why didn’t you just wear those?”

Luc’s brow furrowed, as though he’d never considered that before. “I…I don’t know. I guess because you don’t wear your underwear when you go swimming.”

“But why?” Yuber persisted. “Is it because you don’t want anybody to see it?”

“No, I think the material is different…Heh. It does make one question why it’s so embarrassing to be seen in one’s boxers, but not swim trunks.” He stared out at the water. “All right, let’s not waste any more time.”

“Right.” Yuber approached the shore, realizing he’d never felt sand before. It was soft, textured, and difficult to walk on.

“Don’t sit on it,” Luc advised him. “You’d be surprised where sand can get stuck, and I can tell you from experience, you don’t want to find out firsthand.”

On the wet sand, it was easier to maintain his footing, and Yuber liked the sound his feet made while walking over it. Even more pleasantly, he could see his footprints. “Hey, look.”

“Huh?” Luc looked at the ground. “What? You see something?”

“Yeah. Footprints. I’ve never seen them before. I suppose the water washes them away?”

Luc smiled. “Yeah. This is so weird, you know. I’ve never seen anyone get excited over footprints before. Not even little kids.”

“You could write stuff in the sand, too. And after it got washed away, nobody would even know it was there.” Carefully, Yuber got to his knees and wrote L-U-C in the sand with his finger. He looked up at Luc, grinning mischievously. “It would be a secret.” He added IS A VIRG—

“Stop that!” Luc spread his foot over the letters, making them unreadable. “If anyone sees that before it’s washed away, they’ll know exactly who it’s referring to. ‘Luc’ is not a common name around here.”

“Sorry, sorry. I didn’t think about that.”

Luc shook his head. “Why do you care if I’m a virgin, anyway?”

“I don't,” Yuber said. “It’s just the only thing I could think of that would make a good secret. From what I understand, humans get kind of embarrassed about it.”

“The only thing, huh? What about the fact that I was isolated and neglected as a child because my mother and father were afraid of me?”

“Oh…Well, that’s just _sad_.” _And infuriating,_ Yuber thought. He was glad Luc’s parents were in prison, or he might be tempted to hunt them down. “Anyway, forget about that for now.” He stood back up and walked into the water, stopping when it reached his knees. It amazed him that he could feel how cold it was without experiencing any discomfort or pain. “This is pretty cool. Can you teach me how to swim?”

“You have to go further in first.” Luc waded through the water until it was up to his waist. “This is a good spot. I don’t know if I can really show you how to do it; it’s sort of instinctual. You have to float, you know? The human body just kind of floats naturally.”

“Then why do people drown?”

“Well, they—I guess you also sink naturally, but—I don’t know.” Luc turned onto his back and floated on the water’s surface. “It’s like this. You can also float on your stomach, with your face in the water, but it might not be a good idea for a beginner.”

Yuber closed his eyes and leaned back, feeling the water accept his body, lapping softly against his arms and sides.

“Good. Now let your legs just…float up. The more you relax, the easier it is to stay afloat.”

Yuber did as he was told, marvelling at how his body didn’t sink, but bobbed at the surface on the water, like those pink things people tied to anchors. Something about the water calmed him, made the rage inside him easier to bear.

“Water is incredible, isn’t it?” Luc was now floating next to Yuber as the two of them stared at the night sky. “I used to swim here a lot. Back when I first started living with Leknaat, I mean. I didn’t care about people staring at me, then. The other kids were so busy having fun—just like Halloween, I guess—that they didn’t pay me any mind. I could swim for hours.”

Yuber began to propel himself away from Luc by using his arms and legs. It took some practice, but pretty soon, he found he was able to swim on his stomach as well. “Hey, Luc, check it out! I’m swimming!”

“See? I told you it was instinctual.” Luc swam more quickly than Yuber, and caught up to him within a few seconds. “Pretty soon, you’ll be as good as me.”

“Are you having fun?” Yuber asked.

“Are you?”

Yuber considered Luc’s question. “I don’t know. I guess so. It’s different from when I’m playing that game. When I’m killing people in virtual reality, it’s exciting, and it’s so much fun it’s almost frightening. I feel like if I do it for too long, I’ll crash. This is enjoyable, but in a more subdued way. If I do it for too long, I’ll get bored…or depressed.”

“Yeah, that sounds about right. I mean, that’s more or less how I feel, minus the first part. It must be hard, huh?”

“What is?”

“Well…you know. Having to reign in your emotions like that.”

“It’s not that bad.” But Yuber was happy that Luc cared enough to ask. “Say, Luc? Can I ask you something personal?”

Luc sighed. “If it’s about my penis, or my virginity….”

“No, no, nothing like that.” But somehow, Yuber’s actual question felt more embarrassing. “I was just wondering…Have you ever been kissed?”

Luc’s expression was a little sad, but he didn’t seem to be embarrassed. “No. I’ve never even had a boyfriend. Or been on a date.”

Silence.

“Well….” Yuber chewed over the question in his mind for a few moments, then blurted out, “Would you like to try? Kissing, I mean.”

Luc seemed to think it over as he chewed his lip. Just when Yuber was about to dismiss the idea, he nodded slowly. “All right. Just…don’t laugh at me if I’m not very good at it, okay?”

“I won’t. It’s not like I have any experience, either.” Yuber stepped closer to Luc. “So how do you want to do this?”

“Close your eyes,” Luc said.

Yuber did as he was told and felt Luc’s hands on his shoulders. A moment later, Luc’s lips pressed against his own, lingering for a couple of moments before moving away with a sound that excited Yuber in a way he’d never experienced. After about a minute had passed, Luc laughed and said, “You can open your eyes now.”

“Oh. Sorry.” Yuber gave Luc an awkward grin as he opened his eyes. “I just didn’t expect it to be so soft and gentle. When I saw another couple do it, it was more like….” He grabbed Luc’s face and gave him a harder, noisier kiss. When he pulled away, Luc looked so flustered that he had to laugh. 

“That’s the kind of kiss you give someone when you…want them.” Luc licked his lips nervously. “You know, a lover’s kiss.”

Yuber’s face fell. “I’m sorry. I thought…I thought it was the same, only harder.”

“Well, I guess it is.” Luc rubbed at his lips. “That kind of hurt, Yuber. You smashed my lips against my teeth.”

“Sorry.” He chuckled awkwardly, then shook his head. “I haven’t given up, you know? I _want_ to be your lover, Luc. At first, I just thought it was because it was what I was made for, but now I’m starting to think I actually like being around you. I won’t bug you about it anymore. I just wanted to tell you this last time. I don’t want you to think I’ve lost interest, just in case you might be interested in _me_ someday.”

“Oh, geez.” Luc ducked his head under the water, then surfaced again a few seconds later. “I _like_ you, Yuber. I think I may even be attracted to you. It’s just that I don’t know how to do this. I feel like this is all backwards. I always imagined that a guy and I would go on a few dates, get to know each other, grow to like each other, then fall in love and have sex. But the second you were created, you wanted to have sex. You’ve been acting this whole time like we were _already_ lovers. I know that’s how Josephine sees us.” Suddenly, he looked horrified. “Wait, you didn’t tell her we _were_ , did you?”

“No.” Yuber tried not to look hurt. “I haven’t even told her that I’m interested in you. She just knows I have a flirty personality.” The water was beginning to feel a bit too damp for his liking. “Is the idea of being in a relationship with me that unpleasant to you? Why does it matter if I told her or not?”

“It matters because…because….” Luc seemed to be fumbling for the right word. “You know, it’s dishonest! And…and if you told people we were in a relationship when we’re not, it would be like making the decision for me. _I_ decide who I’ll be in a relationship with. Not you, not Josephine, and not anyone else!”

Yuber bent his knees so the water reached his chin. “What about my decision, then? What if I decide I don’t want to _not_ be with you?”

Luc sighed. “It doesn’t work that way. You have the right to decide who you _want_ to be with, but you can’t force a relationship on another person. Relationships only work if both parties are consenting to be in it. Think of it this way: What if Leknaat decided she wanted to be with you, be your girlfriend? And you didn’t want to be her boyfriend?”

Yuber grimaced. “Do you really see me the way you see Leknaat? As someone old and…like family?”

“No, of course not. All I mean is that we all have standards. Some of us just want sex, some of us want love without sex, and some of us—most of us, I think—want both. But you have to be compatible. You have to be able to take each other’s needs into account. When you don’t both want the same thing, you have to compromise. And I’m not sure if you’re at a point where you can do that.”

There was a twisting sensation inside his stomach, and he almost wanted to throw Luc across the lake. The rage was coming back, even with the freezing water against his skin. “What makes you think you can talk to me this way? Who the fuck do you think you are, acting like I’m the only one who needs to get his shit together? I’m the one with a job, aren’t I? You just…go to school and stuff!” He stood up. “Take me home,” he added, realizing he sounded like a little kid. “No, never mind, don’t get up. I’ll walk.”

“Yuber, wait.” Luc was paddling after him. “I can’t keep this spell going any longer. It’s already fading. You’ll freeze to death.”

“I don’t care.” Yuber tried to control the shivering as he got dressed. “It’s fifty degrees, you said. It’s not like it’s below zero.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Luc quickly threw on his own clothes. “You can get hypothermia even at fifty degrees. Especially when you’re wet. And the wind’s picking up, too.”

“I’m not a fragile little human like you are, _Master_ ,” Yuber snapped. 

“Don’t call me that.” 

Luc sounded hurt, but Yuber didn’t feel like turning around to check. “Why not? It’s your own stupid fault that I exist in the first place. If you hate me so much, you’ll be glad if I die.” It was mean, but it felt good to say it. 

He heard the slam of a car door. So Luc was going to take him at his word. Yuber wrapped his arms around his body; regardless of what he’d said, he wasn’t entirely sure that monsters were any better at resisting the elements than humans. Maybe if he transformed into a bear or something, he’d be able to withstand the cold better. Of course, he’d wait until Luc was out of sight to—

The car had pulled up next to him. Luc glared at him from the driver’s seat, then rolled down the window. “Get in.”

Yuber glared back. “Make me.”

“I can’t do that. But I can tell you this: Congratulations. For the first time since you came into existence, you’ve succeeded in seriously pissing me off, and it’s obvious that that’s what you wanted to do.” He reached across the passenger seat and opened the door. “Look, if you seriously think I hate you, there’s little I can do to convince you otherwise. And if you don’t want to live with me after tonight, fine. I’ll never force you to do anything. But you can’t force me to do anything, either. You can’t force me to stop following you in this car until we either get home or you get the fuck in. Because I know that there’s no way I’ll be able to sleep if I’m imagining you freezing your stupid ass off.”

Yuber opened his mouth, but no words came out. It was the cold, he told himself, and not that he’d been subdued by what Luc had said. _Oh, shit, I’m not supposed to admit to being cold, either._ But he _was_ cold. He was freezing, and it was far more unpleasant than he had anticipated.

“I’m not apologizing,” he finally managed to say as he dropped into the passenger seat.

“Fine.” Luc waited for Yuber to buckle his seat belt, then pulled away from the curb. 

Yuber had never imagined that heat could feel so good. Already, he was not only feeling more comfortable, but more agreeable. “This isn’t an apology, but…Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” Luc gave him a little smile. “You know, you don’t have to be so dramatic when you’re upset. I used to be the same way, but I learned that it’s a lot easier to just tell people what’s wrong.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“That’s fine. I wasn’t planning on saying anything else. It’s just…Wow, that took me back. I did almost the exact same thing to Leknaat.” 

He turned on the radio, and the ambient tunes of “Jazz Before Sunrise” accompanied them home.


End file.
